disalarming

“Erection protection election, right here, right now! The best stimulus package Obama can offer! Hope isn’t a form of protection, so get these Obama condoms today!”

That was the cry of the street seller selling this personalized Obama three-condom selection and it attracted quite the stares from fellow passersby. He got a mixed reaction from people as the older crowd mostly shook their heads and walked away while the younger crowd struck up conversation with him before moving along their merry way. This guy was was quite the salesman, really, considering this three-condom deal cost $10USD, which is a total ripoff as anyone can get them cheaply at a store. He managed to make a few sales, my friend included (the condoms she bought are the ones pictured).

The condoms are ribbed and come in “tuxedo black.” While the condoms themselves aren’t anything special, this is definitely pretty unique packaging as I doubt people can come by Obama condoms at a regular store. Only in DC (well, perhaps in Chicago too) would you find personalized Obama condoms! Too bad he wasn’t selling any Palin ones as those might have reeled in more customers seeing as she promotes abstinence-only education :P

I wonder how Obama feels about having his very own “erection protection selection”…

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.

This semester I am taking a microeonomics course as well as a Russian history course. So when I found Capitalism and Cows: an explanation of the economics of capitalism by using cows and countries/corporations, it resonated with me on more than one level because it can relate to at least two of my courses!

Here are some of my favorite examples:

A JAPANESE CORPORATION — You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

A SWISS CORPORATION — You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION — You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

Yes, these statements about how various corporations would go about with cows in a capitalist way use stereotypes, but they are quite amusing!

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.

Sarah Palin’s kids have pretty unusual names. Trig, Willow, Bristol, Piper, Track… they’re not exactly your run-of-the-mill names. The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator can “translate” your name into a name that Palin would use to name you!

Since I was Sarah Palin last year for Halloween, I was curious as to what my name would be. (That and the fact that I wanted to see what types of names the generator came up with anyway.) I typed “Manda” into the name generator and my name was Filter Skate Palin.

Huh. Filter Skate. Somehow, I still prefer the name Manda ;)

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.

Since last week’s Internet Find insinuated that all men are gorillas, it seems only fitting that this week’s comes to the conclusion that, well, girls are… evil.

Girls are Evil

Girls do require time and money… but doesn’t almost everything else in this world require that too?

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.

There’s FML for all of those “My life sucks” moments and MLIA for all those “Eh, my life is typical” moments. So of course, there has to be a site for those “My life is great” moments! My Life is G (MLIG) is just the site for that. The antithesis of fmylife.com, it’s a site where users submit short statements about a life experience that they were lucky enough to experience. Some of my personal favorites include:

Today my teacher said if I didn’t turn in my finals I couldn’t graduate on stage, I didn’t turn it in and five hours later, I graduated on stage. MLIG [source]

Today, I found out that my ex has herpes. She dumped me 2 weeks ago for telling her I wasn’t ready for sex. MLIG [source]

Today, I ran into the guy who destroyed my self-esteem years ago. He put his arm around my shoulder and I punched him. MLIG [source]

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.

The success and popularity of fmylife.com seems to have sparked a number of “spin-off” sites. The underlying concept is the same: users submit short stories, usually only two or three sentences, summing up an experience that fits with the theme of the site. In addition to fmylife.com, there are a number of other sites, one of which is My Life is Average. Users submit regular, everyday experiences of regular, everyday people, like some of the following submissions:

Today, as I created an account for this site it said “lowercase only” underneath the email section. I typed it in all caps to see if it would still work. It did. MLIA [source]

Today, my teacher saw me texting under the desk and grabbed my phone. She didn’t grab my penis. MLIA. [source]

Today, no one wished me a happy birthday. I wasn’t suprised, today isn’t my birthday. MLIA. [source]

With all of the hype that was surrounding fmylife.com as it caught on in pop culture, it’s nice to know there are still normal people experiencing normal things in day to day life!

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.

Last night while I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom, one of my floormates said, “Hey, Manda!” and looked expectantly at me with an answer. As my mouth was filled with foamy toothpaste, I hurriedly finished brushing my teeth and mumbled a semi-intelligible, “Oh, hey.” The girl continued merrily chatting along as I washed my face, and I gave half-hearted answers to whatever questions she was asking me, because every time a question came up I either had a mouth full of toothpaste or I was busy rinsing off my facial cleanser with water.

If I see someone else in the bathroom brushing their teeth or washing their face, I don’t feel obligated to strike up a conversation, or even greet the person with a hello. I don’t go to the bathroom to start conversations, I go to either use the toilet, shower, brush my teeth, and/or wash my face, so I never bother with niceties when I see my floormates in the bathroom. I simply go about my business as if they weren’t even there. Plus, I find it incredibly awkward to have to answer someone with a toothbrush in my mouth as it’s not exactly the easiest scenario to reply to someone with, so I always try to avoid putting others in that position!

Question of the Week: Do you find it uncomfortable when someone greets you when you are in the middle of doing something like brushing your teeth or washing your face?

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.

I was Skype-ing with Roanne last night, and as we were talking, we came up with a euphemism to describe certain activities that occur when two teenagers with romantic inclinations towards each other disappear into a bedroom. It started when one of us said something along the lines of, “Well, we went up to his room, and all we did was watch TV.” That led to us coining the euphemism “We weren’t watching TV!” to describe bedroom relations, and it’s safe to say that it’s a phrase the two of us will use when talking to each other many times in future conversations!

Imagine my surprise when as I was clicking on various links I stumbled upon The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator! Boasting 323,834,700 unique phrases, every time you refresh the euphemism generator, a new one loads, for endless amusement. Here are some of my favorites:

Let’s just say I had a lot to learn about grooming the batmobile.

For one of his intelligence, he was remarkably adept at doing the walrus.

You can’t expect me to believe you were only spreading the slug.

No matter what euphemisms the Always Amusing Euphemism Generator generates for me, I think the one about not watching TV will always be my personal favorite!

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.