Friendship

Yesterday I had a small blast from the past in the form of hearing several stories about a boy I used to be really good friends with. It’s a consequence of being back in the place you graduated from high school in; you hear these kinds of stories whether you like it or not. It’s especially common when your high school is as small as mine and everyone knows everything about everyone. Anyway, news about him got me thinking about all the good days back when we were good friends, even best friends, and what things were like before life got in the way and we just naturally grew apart.

As I was lying in bed last night, thinking about all of this, I started reminiscing about all the friends I’ve gained and lost over the years, those that I’ve gotten closer to and those that I’ve drifted apart from. The friends who I know I couldn’t live without; the friends who I no longer see but will never forget; the “friends” who I question why they got the title of “friend” in the first place. The friendships that were damaged, battered and ended because of a boy; the sexual tensions between myself and various guy friends; the friendships that never took off because there was too much romantic history to be able to put it all in the past and move forward.

Friendship is a funny thing. It has a fluctuation/turnover/retention rate like nothing else in life. And while there are many days where my friends drive me up the wall, I know I could never live without them. I also know that it’s my friendships with the people in my life, both past and present, that shape who I am today. So, while it was sad to hear about the news in my high school friend’s life from someone other than him, it was good to hear that he is doing well all the same.

(Then I began to wonder if people felt the same way about me as a friend and if those I’ve fallen out of touch with remember me. Thankfully, I fell asleep before I got too insecure/neurotic/paranoid about any of this. That’s a danger of thinking about all of this late at night on your own when you’re walking the line between staying awake and falling asleep!)

In other, far less philosophical news: many thanks to Aleida, Karin, Melody and Tess for awarding me with the Sunshine Award; I wrote a guest entry on Krissy’s blog about the wonder and beauty of Kurt Halsey’s artwork; an article about my scholarship win is on the front page of my university’s website; I have made absolutely no progress on building my professional digital identity; and I am breathless with anticipation for tonight’s Hawks vs Flyers hockey game (Game 4 in the series, 2-1 Hawks).

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.