Dorm Room Sex 101

I have learned a lot about the protocol regarding dorm room sex during my time as a resident of my school’s dorms. Most of the stuff I’ve learned, however, is what not to do when having sex in the dorms. Here are some examples:

• If you want to turn up music so people don’t hear screams/moans/cries out loud, make sure it is actually loud enough to drown out said screams/moans/cries out loud. If not, when you turn the music off, everyone will know that you are done… not to mention how long it took for you to orgasm.
• If you have to sexile a roommate, make sure you and your roommate are on good enough terms so that the roommate won’t run into the lounge and announce that you are having sex. If that happens, it is more than likely that a good portion of the people in the lounge will come running down the hall and sit around outside your door, trying to stifle the sounds of laughter as your whines and cries get progressively louder.
• If you live on the first or second floor of the dorm, make sure your curtains are closed so that people walking by won’t see more of you than they ever wanted to see.

Most of it is just common sense, really. But it’s astounding to see how little common sense college kids have when it comes to having sex in the dorms!

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.