Growing Up Too Fast

Lately I’ve been thinking about all of the trials and tribulations that are associated with growing up. You know, things like serious relationships, marriages, babies, careers, moving out from home, that kind of stuff. And it hit me that already, a lot of my friends and high school classmates have started to jump through all of the hoops that are typically associated with adulthood and growing up. What makes it scary, though, is that I don’t feel like any of us are mature enough to handle being adults just yet. It seems like it was only yesterday when we were all kids in high school messing around and not taking life seriously. Suddenly, now we’re all grown up and are facing things I never thought we’d have to face so soon. Ruby said it best in a thread at Vegetarian Option: “I think what some people don’t comprehend is that they want to be old enough to do anything, but they’re not mature enough to handle just about anything.”

• Getting married
  One of my high school classmates got married last weekend. He and his wife (I still think that sounds so weird, saying that he has a wife now) began dating after we graduated from high school last June. To my knowledge, she is his first and only girlfriend, he’s never dated anyone else. He is a freshman in college, and she is a senior in high school. They are both only 18. I know I am more cynical than your average person, but honestly, what kind of long-lasting marriage is born out of a situation like that? All of the long-term couples in my high school class have broken up since starting college, and they had all been dating for over a year. This kid seems to think that it was a good idea to marry his girlfriend of less than a year? What kind of future is in store for them?
• Pregnancy scares
  Obviously, pregnancy scares are a result of being sexually active. But what freaks me out about them (aside from the possibility of having a baby, of course) is that it seems like the people who have pregnancy scares aren’t in serious relationships, or they don’t even know who they had the baby with because there’s more than one guy on the scene. Really? How can good parenting skills result from a situation like that? What are the chances of the baby, if the “scare” turns out to be a legitimate pregnancy, having a good future? Or even surviving, since abortion is now an option for some people?
• Having babies
  Aside from the pregnancy scare business, two of my friends that I went to high school with when I was living in Australia are now teenage mothers. I’ve seen pictures of my friend’s babies and all, but I still can’t believe my friends are mothers. When were we mature enough to handle this? I still remember when we all met in Year 7 on the first day of school and how awed we were by the incredibly grown up Year 12 students. And now look at us, some of us are parents now. It’s crazy.
• Moving out from home
  I live on-campus at my college, and my college isn’t particularly close to my house (I have to fly home whenever I want to visit my family). So in a way I am living on my own, but at the same time, I’m not really. I am more on my “own” than I would be if I lived at home full-time, but I am still not completely on my own the way I would be if I were renting an apartment. Some of my friends want to do that, which is fine, but the ones that want to have no steady income (read: no job) and are overall pretty irresponsible. Plus, some of my friends are already living on their own, but as a result of being kicked out of home. I understand that for some, independence is only understood when you are forced to deal with it, but being kicked out of home is never a good thing in any situation.
• Meeting people at clubs and bars
  I understand that everyone wants to meet new people, whether it be just for fun or with romantic intentions. I go out clubbing with my friends sometimes, and if any of us happens to meet someone, it’s usually harmless and all in good fun. But what I don’t understand is how some people are bound and determined to go out to clubs and bars solely for the purpose of snagging someone to start a relationship with, at least at my age. We’re only 18. Our entire future is ahead of us, there is more to life than patrolling the city night life for potential boyfriends. Going out to clubs and bars are fun, but a lot of the fun is lost when you shift the focus from a night out with friends to a night out for finding a significant other. We have plenty of time to do that in the future, just enjoy the fun times with friends when you can.

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.