disalarming | I Am Me

I’ve been following the website Post Secret for quite some time now, but this was the first secret (from this week’s post) that struck a chord with me:

All my life I’ve felt I’ve been caught between the worlds of the East and West. I’m a half-American, half-Chinese girl who spent early childhood in Hong Kong and formative years in Western countries. I speak the language of my home (Cantonese) and am minoring in Mandarin Chinese at university, yet I won the award for highest marks in English at my Australian school and got top grades in my English classes in the US, both in high school and college. I know the ins and outs of both Asian culture and Western culture, from the importance of displaying modesty to bragging about one’s achievements. I go out and have fun with the best of them, yet study hard with the discipline of a person whose parents have repeatedly stressed the importance of studying and education. I have Western friends who perceive me to be more Chinese, Chinese friends who perceive me to be more American, and flip-flopping opinions from both sides of my family in regards to which nationality/culture I “belong” more to.

To some, all of the stuff listed above matters; it’s as though putting people in categories and pigeon holes are matters of life and death. It’s like when it comes to checking off what ethnicity I am in the census: why isn’t there an option to choose more than one race? Can’t I qualify as both on paper when I do mentally and emotionally? Why do I have to choose what I “feel more like,” Chinese or American? How can I pick between two cultures I have grown up in, two families that I have, two parts that make up who I am? None of this should matter, although sometimes, people insist it does. What really matters is that I am me and nothing, no category or description or label, can define what makes me, me.

I feel like I sent this secret in myself.

Cross-posted from breakthesky.net. Please leave any comments there.